English is a phunny language, but seriously, not as

If you think the English language is funny, you better mind your laughs and your gaffes. People are always cribbing that there’s more puzzlement in the written word than one can imagine. And if you spell your words as in curds, you might as well end up bringing the house down…But don’t blow your top over that.

Even illustrious people have remarked on the befuddling twists of the spelt word. George Bernard Shaw, for instance. He demonstrated how fish could be spelt as gh-o-ti, and how? Follow this rule, f as in enough, i as in women, and sh as in nation. Apparently enough is enuff.

Contrastingly, the upholder of English may delight to deem English a unisexual language. Not given to caricature inanimate objects with aspects of the gender, unlike many of its Romantic neighbours. And its nearest competition to being the lingua franca – French – is yet hopelessly embroiled in gender nuances.

To the consternation of French feminists, the beast turns out to be a feminine object in their language. English quietly prefers to be asexual in articulation…it remains strictly aligned to the neuter. ‘Don’t be a monster!” could well be an admonishment to both sexes. You’d have to be more specific like Frankenstein or Witch to discriminate.

English remains ambivalent in manners of address as well. The word `you’ is universal, unlike in French where it is altered depending on who you are speaking to. Obviously, English grammar believes that we are all equal under the sun.