Do you all think I languished
for all these decades, barely euphonious,
having my aspirations back strapped
into a heavily occluding cloak?
Was I just to gravitate into
a mitigation of sorts, with a sacrifice?
I did not seek the revelry of congratulations,
recognition, acknowledgement! Could I have obtained it
through fragmentation of self. It certainly
is not in my repertoire of beliefs to sleep
with an enemy and have you all backslapping me
with your deceit. I have never been the champion
of the cause of evil. And have you all ever
felt your bootstraps stuck to the glue on the floor!
I am just without the sense of adventure
for the woods of crime and villainy,
however fecund they may be
That so, if I should succumb to,
I’d rather be dead! Still, I am skeletal
from the fact that I lost the flesh of my aspiration;
I don’t want to believe that my own convictions killed me
even if you all rather have me convinced of that!
How should I weep and how should I smile?
With the frustration of letting go of every aspiration;
and feeling the immense pride of such sacrifice!
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