Those pangs of losing; can sadness be overcome?: A poem 

I remember the flame on the festooned candle 

of a communion that I failed to have faith in 

somewhere in my growing years, not out of 

disillusion, but out of a faint conviction; 

Like a nebula that breaks out from its gaseousness 

to take on the clarity of stars. Somehow, I always felt 

that I was my own star, despite losing so much. 

I never imagined I was a star in anyone else’s eyes; 

I didn’t even feel my magic, it was out of a solitude 

of my own making; yet ensconced like an embryo in love. 

Should I remember those small sandhills to the beach; 

the tender coconuts, the palmyra, the jackfruit and the mangoes! 

I can remember the kerosene lamplight throwing shadows  

that seemed so ominous after the coppa of home-brewed feni. 

I am still a child wrapped in cardboard cartons of ageing! 

You can unwrap me and feel the innocent vulnerability 

of my throbbing pulse. I grew older to lie against lies, 

but my heart and soul were always truth and justice! 

Would you have me believe I’m better of discarding that premise?

So, they all thought they could try and tear me apart 

for their benefits and advantages! I can lose the past with a  

twist of thought and regain it with a pang of sadness. 

Must I believe that I lived only to lose! Like a star that burns, 

but keeps existing. Would I lose it all, then; without asking 

for anything in return! Have I forgotten that I am God, 

simply in vain, and never in vain!