Jashmina, please don’t say sorry anymore; I am not not going to forgive you!: A poem 

How many times have I broken my back? 

How many times did my feet get boobytrapped? 

Count the eternity the trillion times for you 

that I lost myself entirely; broke into so many pieces, more than a million and two! 

You think I love to be reduced to a shattered entity 

be bewitched with my love for you, only for your deciet 

How much I have forgiven, what is the price of such an eternal sacrifice? 

that you always make it all subject to overwhelming evil’s vice 

I did not feed on any evil; not a penny did I seek! 

And for all the favours I did everybody, and never did ask anything in return 

And when the same people turned their backs on me; and I forgave them 

And I still continued to do my duty because of my unfailing love for you. 

I just don’t want to waste my energy on you all! 

You can all abound in the evil that suits your convenience! 

You can appease Prakash Saint Paul and serve him with your obeisance!  

I never made it convenient for myself, I fought with every ounce of energy I had for all your salvation. 

And even in times when I was so enervated, because of the immense torture, I used sheer will to suit you all! 

But now, I’m turning my back on you all and saying: FUCK YOU ALL TO YOUR DOOM AND DESTRUCTION!