Do you conjecture I only waste words on my blogsite
while I am always silent in a manner of speaking?
Is that golden? The brashness of putting the truth
down on paper, is that it will always be used as evidence
against you by treacherous conspirators! So do you think
I am baulked between bastions? I can be verbose, but I
am not bombastic! I know language has limits of expression,
And that there are too many more people who are better at
expression and more resourceful in idea than I am!
But I will, with much haste, remind you that my ingenuity
is all of my own making; no acquisition of mentoring or guidance!
I remember, as a child in the classroom, I seemed to
be inattentive, lost in my own illusions, were they formative profound beliefs?
Which of us knows to draw the line between imagination and realisation?
Would we dare to hope and dream, then?
In any case, coming back to the classrooms,
when I did lend my ears to their Caesars
I never hesitated to correct my teachers when they were wrong!
Yet, I had such an innocent charm (not guile) that I always (every year) took the prize for Good Conduct!
The teachers recognised my style and honest grace, the classmates, often, were envious
I always knew my lingo, though, I was shy; embarrassed to be in the sphere of attention
Yet I stood out at every quiz competition, debate or elocution contest!
Call it a contradiction, or a compelling desire that overcame my inhibitions!
I always had my own lingo; no amount of peer pressure or authority could subject it
Later on, in my life, I had to face tempestuous animosity, punishment, treachery and cruelty,
even torture, for my individuated astute intellect. I knew all along I was never wrong!
Yet how would I know that everything and everyone I stood for would be defeated for it! Just like being helpless and vulnerable to evil!
I can think I was brave in all times of intimidation, threat of violence, even ensnarement
and bribe or graft!
I just knew my Godhood every inch of the way! What needs appositive, or a parenthesised bracketed explanation –
each time you say: Me and you, or you and I? I always knew which way to sound it for every occasion without making explanations!
Don’t think that I am not humble for being assertive! I’ve taken a lot of punishment, defeat and torture for being assertive in my life
And I was not being selfish, only asserting the truth and justice!
I remember the first time my English teacher emphasised in the classroom that it was: You and I,
I think in retrospect I’d say: Eye for Intuition, Inspiration, Individuation and Independence!
I aRe for Revelation! And certainly not I for id or I am ego and selfishness! Thank you all!
I have immense gratitude despite all the self-denial and the denial (from others), rejection, hate and aloneness that I was subject to for being the truth!
The gratitude comes from the immense love and vindication I received from Mum and Dad, and the few people that loved me!
I feel ample and amplified to be resolute not to forgive those that don’t deserve my forgiveness!
You may all call it my failing, but I know how justified I am in doing so!
And I am confident that there is no better unbiased judge of myself than me!
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