The mar-age of marriage: Just for laughs 

It could be roses all the way for a modern-day Valentine to woo his lady love. But the ordinary local Jimmy would hardly relish the pangs of anxiety he’d go through before he sought the approval of the woman in question. And it would be anyone’s guess if he’d actually hail the wedding aisle after that. 

But our hapless Jovie thought he’d better seek papa’s acquiescence before dear Jane’s. So, on D-day, he approached pa-in-law with all the peculiarities of the language: “Sir,” he implored “can I seek your daughter’s hand in marriage?” To which he was wrathfully asked: “Why on earth should anyone seek a hand in marriage? 

English couldn’t quite be the lingua utilitie in matrimonial quests in any case, as this oriental student of English was to discover. “May I have the privilege of holding you in martial bliss?” he asked. His English-speaking girlfriend wasn’t quite impressed with this mar-age of the dear old Anglo-Saxon language. 

And this Casanova should have met with his local grammarian before he pleaded of the devious future father-in-law: “Can I have your daughter for my wife?” “Certainly,” came the father, “that is if your wife can keep house.” 

But heard of these two contenders who decided they’d return to the days of chivalry and have a shoot-out to decide the fate of the girl they both wooed. They simply went and shot her.