A thief in a thicket is worth the wicket: Just for laughs 

Burglary may be a serious crime, but that doesn’t stop the everyday comic to steal a funny from the backyard. But if a robber didn’t rub it in your rib as yet, you’re rather lucky. There are many who have lost much of their sense of humour to the burglar’s cunning. 

But this mother had her son taken to the psychiatrist. “ Doctor,” she pleaded tearfully “my son’s a kleptomaniac.” “I can see that,” claimed the doctor. And then turning to the child in rage shrieked: “Now put back my nameplate you runt.” 

Kleptomania can be an affliction for many, but you can’t trust even the Joneses from keeping out of mischief. This man, for instance, couldn’t quite care about the recent robberies in the neighbourhood. “I’ve got a burglar alarm,” he assured. “You bet,” responded the neighbour, “I’ve just burgled that.” 

Yet here’s a queasy quiz of sorts. What would you call a man who steals pork? A ham burglar. And what would two bosom buddies in a prison be? As thick as thieves. But thievery may not be such a happy business as this jail warden discovered. “Hey Jack, how’s the business going?” he enquired. “Not too good,” came Jack sadly, “not with the recession.” 

But these three muggers meeting in dark park could quite tell you how bad it’s actually getting. “I mugged a man in Central Park, and all he gave me was an IOU,” the first said bitterly. “I mugged someone,” came the second, “who was so broke that I lent him a few bucks.” But the third man who frequented Mint Street recounted: “I mugged a man with a million bucks,” and before the others could jump off their socks related: “And he happened to be the national boxing champion.”