The mendicant has fondlings in contrariness; that makes him magician!: A poem 

Do you think that what seems, is 

what actually is? Is there azure  

in the skies or aquamarine or Lapus lazuli 

in the sea? I am of the knowledge that 

light refracts and gives us the colours  

we perceive! I am red and green blind! 

I discovered that when I failed the  

Ishiwara test when I was twenty-one; 

to my dismay! So, is the red that I see 

the same hue that you all see!  I have 

often lived like a bull in a China shop! 

Not many of you would liken me to a gem 

of a person about that! But I believed in 

love and being cruel for love! Even when love 

was made to seem like an ungettable promise; 

a false promise, in fact! Samson loved his Delilah! 

For he believed she was the hand of destiny… 

And that she was under duress! I will never burn  

my bridges, even if love is falsified and plagiarised 

by my admitting to and confessing it! When I am 

with my mother, I decamp to my father! When I am with Dad, 

I cross the border to my Mother! I care a fuck if  

you all punish me for this alleged travesty! Shame on you all! 

Mum and Dad are in my soul, fuck all your impudent  

dispensations and insolent dispositions. I love my love,  

even if she is used against me! Shame on you all (capitalising on  

my weaknesses!) I am not afraid of conventional exigencies that bind me 

in locks and chains! I am claustrophobic but not constricted! 

You know when you live in palaces, you don’t have reason  

to think about those living in hovels. But I don’t consider 

myself a resident of sluggish slummishness! For, I am a 

magician mendicant! And my love has survived through all 

that eternal rapine! I am a self-constituted Temple-Fortress! 

I don’t want the false validation of villains (I know who they are, 

don’t misconstrue what I say!).  I don’t need your Palaces 

that may actually seek to poison and perversify me! 

Published by montecyril

Hi, I am Monte Cyril Rodrigues and live in Melbourne, Australia. I am a retired journalist. I have been diagnosed with schizophrenia. I've had voices and visions all my life. I think it is a spiritual experience, my doctors think otherwise. I am a deeply spiritual person and keep having experiences with otherworldly realms.

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