Do you think that what seems, is
what actually is? Is there azure
in the skies or aquamarine or Lapus lazuli
in the sea? I am of the knowledge that
light refracts and gives us the colours
we perceive! I am red and green blind!
I discovered that when I failed the
Ishiwara test when I was twenty-one;
to my dismay! So, is the red that I see
the same hue that you all see! I have
often lived like a bull in a China shop!
Not many of you would liken me to a gem
of a person about that! But I believed in
love and being cruel for love! Even when love
was made to seem like an ungettable promise;
a false promise, in fact! Samson loved his Delilah!
For he believed she was the hand of destiny…
And that she was under duress! I will never burn
my bridges, even if love is falsified and plagiarised
by my admitting to and confessing it! When I am
with my mother, I decamp to my father! When I am with Dad,
I cross the border to my Mother! I care a fuck if
you all punish me for this alleged travesty! Shame on you all!
Mum and Dad are in my soul, fuck all your impudent
dispensations and insolent dispositions. I love my love,
even if she is used against me! Shame on you all (capitalising on
my weaknesses!) I am not afraid of conventional exigencies that bind me
in locks and chains! I am claustrophobic but not constricted!
You know when you live in palaces, you don’t have reason
to think about those living in hovels. But I don’t consider
myself a resident of sluggish slummishness! For, I am a
magician mendicant! And my love has survived through all
that eternal rapine! I am a self-constituted Temple-Fortress!
I don’t want the false validation of villains (I know who they are,
don’t misconstrue what I say!). I don’t need your Palaces
that may actually seek to poison and perversify me!
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