In this late autumnal age,
when I am walking in the vitrescent of life
with the shadows of me and my pet dog
of loneliness. I sense an aloofness
in loving myself, unapologetically,
In loving the, even if unfascinating, poetry in me
as if its simple verbosity was a delicatessen
just reserved for me. I have never been pretentious,
but I was brave beyond all comprehensions in handling daily fires
that I helped contain, lest they become
infernos that could wipe out civilisations
with their magnitude. You have all been
thankless to me; reminding me of how something created
wants to usurp its own creator! There are too many
maggots that hinder a Magus! I’ve been a miracle-working
magician, never acknowledged, only straitjacketed and vilified. There is too much
treachery that wants to sublimate my righteousness
with its villainy. I see now that I want to disinfect
from the worms trying to infest my woodwork.
I am no longer the ghost you all want me to be;
forgetting to love myself because of your forgery
of my (yours to make-believe) faultlines. I am no self-indulgent folly.
You are all the self-seekers scapegoating my patience and restraint!
Must I always make myself vulnerable to all your demands of sacrifice from me?
I am a beauty that you have failed to see or simply ignored and snubbed.
A poetry even in inclement weather, a climate so reposed in its own sultriness that you all
loathe its self-sufficiency and smugness; so, you all want to prod it out of its rabbit hole!
You all have no respect for my intellect or my age, nor do you have any
for my sacrifice or my suffering, that you want to beget your own
leverage from me at immense pain and hardship to myself. Some people don’t deserve my
forgiveness (the likes of AA and PSP). And they should just let that be.
Not pursue making me a prisoner for my justified obduracy
and shut me out from being free. They will only regret the consequentialities
in eternity! I am honestly tired, but I am sworn to fighting it out
if you all continue to besiege me. I am not asking for a detente, but I am old
and want to be left alone! Unless you want me to remind you all of
your futile mortality; and how untiring my will can actually be.
Don’t undermine me and demean me with your pig swill any more.
You must all know that I am an eternal Phoenix always residing in an
out-of-reach elusive photosphere! RESPECT AND ACKNOWLEDGE THAT OF ME!!!!
montes-musings.blog 