I reiterate that I want to go!: A poem 

I was born in Mumbai in September, 1964 in a place called  

Agripada Hospital. I wouldn’t tell you the meaning of  

Agripada in English, it may turn your appetite. 

You know my humble beginnings – the doctors wrote me 

off for as good as dead, for I was an unformed six-and-a half month 

embryo out of the womb; and I lost my twin sister, then. 

Yes, I survived to be strong; thanks to the concerted devotion 

by Mum and Dad to see me survive. I feel like a bird in the wind, 

as if the wind brought me the birds that carried a Sapphire stone 

with little secrets engraved on them. You know the secrets lived to 

become ultimate fires in my adulthood, emblazoning my life.  

I always felt that I was a child of destiny, without a name being put  

on it, as a child, in my aloofness or loneliness; as I couldn’t ever construct 

the conditions that led to peer friendship. I was often mocked at 

for my squint. I grew in my intellectual being at school; I became 

the envy of a few classmates as much as I was the beloved of teachers! 

There is something that I could find in self-worth that couldn’t be diminished  

by the hasty presumptive stones flung at me all through my life. There 

are very few I blame for the unjustified circumspection against me, but  

those that I blame for the violence against me, I blame with a vehemence. 

Particularly, because they show no shame, remorse, guilt or conscience, and proceed  

to evade their culpability with the blatancy of more criminality (against me)! 

You know so much of my poetry has become confessional, like I wish to 

unzip my vestments to bare my own nakedness to make you all understand me.  

But I am fully aware that few of you will seek to understand me; because you 

all love your misbegotten conveniences, and I am a threat to your misbegotten 

 conveniences. You all certainly don’t care about the supreme sacrifice I undertook  

for you all. Talk of gratitude! I want to go! It is the best option for me! I no longer  

have the wherewithal to play between evil Prakash Saint Paul and evil Anthony 

Albanese, or any further evil from the Labor Party! In saying so, I know, Prakash  

Saint Paul will get a further manipulative convenience for himself against me to 

suit his lease of power and life. I have no patience to withstand it or comply with his grossly  

wicked manipulations anymore! I want to go! I want to go! I want to go! I am very, very, very,  

very exhausted! And no solution is a happy solution for me with his evil encumbering me! I want to go! That’s all I have to say!

Published by montecyril

Hi, I am Monte Cyril Rodrigues and live in Melbourne, Australia. I am a retired journalist. I have been diagnosed with schizophrenia. I've had voices and visions all my life. I think it is a spiritual experience, my doctors think otherwise. I am a deeply spiritual person and keep having experiences with otherworldly realms.

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