I was born in Mumbai in September, 1964 in a place called
Agripada Hospital. I wouldn’t tell you the meaning of
Agripada in English, it may turn your appetite.
You know my humble beginnings – the doctors wrote me
off for as good as dead, for I was an unformed six-and-a half month
embryo out of the womb; and I lost my twin sister, then.
Yes, I survived to be strong; thanks to the concerted devotion
by Mum and Dad to see me survive. I feel like a bird in the wind,
as if the wind brought me the birds that carried a Sapphire stone
with little secrets engraved on them. You know the secrets lived to
become ultimate fires in my adulthood, emblazoning my life.
I always felt that I was a child of destiny, without a name being put
on it, as a child, in my aloofness or loneliness; as I couldn’t ever construct
the conditions that led to peer friendship. I was often mocked at
for my squint. I grew in my intellectual being at school; I became
the envy of a few classmates as much as I was the beloved of teachers!
There is something that I could find in self-worth that couldn’t be diminished
by the hasty presumptive stones flung at me all through my life. There
are very few I blame for the unjustified circumspection against me, but
those that I blame for the violence against me, I blame with a vehemence.
Particularly, because they show no shame, remorse, guilt or conscience, and proceed
to evade their culpability with the blatancy of more criminality (against me)!
You know so much of my poetry has become confessional, like I wish to
unzip my vestments to bare my own nakedness to make you all understand me.
But I am fully aware that few of you will seek to understand me; because you
all love your misbegotten conveniences, and I am a threat to your misbegotten
conveniences. You all certainly don’t care about the supreme sacrifice I undertook
for you all. Talk of gratitude! I want to go! It is the best option for me! I no longer
have the wherewithal to play between evil Prakash Saint Paul and evil Anthony
Albanese, or any further evil from the Labor Party! In saying so, I know, Prakash
Saint Paul will get a further manipulative convenience for himself against me to
suit his lease of power and life. I have no patience to withstand it or comply with his grossly
wicked manipulations anymore! I want to go! I want to go! I want to go! I am very, very, very,
very exhausted! And no solution is a happy solution for me with his evil encumbering me! I want to go! That’s all I have to say!