I can pause suddenly, like a light switch
turned off, and into myself; in a state
of tranquil non-being…the day moving
over me like a wind over a grave. And
then, I quietly awake to the soliloquy of wafting drafts
one over the other, like laughter taking grief
for a treat. You must know there is a
medley in this motivity; and motley emotion.
I walk in love and hate like a paddle of a boat
trudging on either side to find balance and
move forward! I am a treatise on such sustenance,
even the weather wants to take me for a bride.
I am not going to be taken…not disowning anyone,
not leaving anyone I love a begging, disconsolate,
feeling threadbare, feeling wanting, though I
keep them all waiting(!)…the months, destiny, the
weather, the life around me, the powers that be,
the seasons, even circumstance and predicament!
I can live like the break of dawn and feel like
the dusk breaks me, sometimes, as I touch
the desert of loneliness in my ritualistic meanderings
and caring-daring abandonment. I take a deep breath of the
smells of endurance, even when endearance becomes
taboo. Is this turbulent eddy where I want to be, I ask
myself? No, but for the compelling tasks of duty and sacrifice!
