Mother, see I stand before you!!!: A poem

In the garden where I decided to relive… 

where I discovered I had to both believe

and deceive; where in the exploration of

justice, I had to both lose and retrieve; if

there was impunity for being blind and

to perceive. When the solutions are not

forthcoming, but problems ever-arising, like slow

but perennially flowing magma out of the

volcano of an existentialistic mouth. And the wise

are treated with  calumny and the evil with glory?! So,

how does God subsume his might in its iotic manifestation

in the backdrop of his magnanimous grace?

Do we picture the world as an eternal conflict

because of the conflagration of evil, and then

war must become a prerogative to fight one stake

against the other?! Mother, there is death in my

arms, but do you think there is blood on my

hands? Mother, do you know there is nothing that

is trivial in the way you loved me to bring me up?

I was meant to be what I was meant to be; despite

 all the many moth-eaten holes in my tunic or the

debilitating multiple wounds on my soul! How you

could have wept for all the undeserved shame and

ignominy I received?! I consolatorily wipe the tears

off your eyes. And I reassure you that all the seemingly

interminable suffering was a show of strength; even if

respite was tucked always over the horizon! Mother,

how do I serve the love I have for you and Dad?

How do I think of conciliation when my love is a divide?

How do I draw the line between my faith and theirs?

Reconcile between Muslim and Jew, between East and West?

Between North and South? Between true love and true loyalties?

If God had a choice to convenience by deigning his

peerlessness to an unwise equation with evil, or to resolutely abrogate

their constant attempts to pre-empt his perfection

with their imposed nomism? Mother, is noncombatism

a hypocritical flaw? Should we teach the world that

the folly is in engaging in premature détente or diplomacy?

Mother, where do I stand? In the obscure nook of the

Prairie ….at its periphery?…When the entire universe was mine

long before, and mine should ever be? Do you now see?

Even If all question the vehemence and veracity of what should have been?!