I wouldn’t follow the waist-coated lagomorph
who gave his hat the doff
That was a signal to follow him down the rabbit hole
I don’t take orders, for I am Ole King Cole!
The birthday cake was unlike a bitter pill
It blew me out over the roof and sill
Alice was no wunderkind, she left wind
when the madhatter was causing a din
At the party, Tweedledee and Tweedledum
kind of were feeling morose and dumb
But I am not the one to sympathise with scum
Even if you all think I’m just a nasty pompous bum
Alice has no malice, even if she were ten-feet tall
Anyway, she wouldn’t have the gall
to make me kind of feeling small
to be stoned is very different from what did Ananus and Saint Paul!
And if she did, I’d sing a carol to Lewis Carroll
to dump her in a wooden barrel!
If my rhymes make the Ministers feel odd
Remember, they were the criminals, not Sweeney Todd
And I may just be the barber who says: “Off with your head”
The pansy Queens can never take me for dead!